bombing:

wigglethatbutt:

bombing:

just had a dream where someone stole my socks and framed me for murder using the dna on them

i dreamt i stole someones socks omg

i’m calling the police

thatfunnyblog:

Funny Stuff you like?

beachier:

me: *dials 911*

operator: hello 911, what’s your emergency?

me: i need someone to cuddle with, rub my back, and play with my hair

operator: someone is on their way, please stay calm

moistnoodles:

i-march-mello:

danim4ux:

THE SHEET IS MADE OUT OF WOOD TOO
Wendell Castle, Ghost Clock. 1985

THAT IS MAHOGANY

I thought this was a joke until I read the description
jaclcfrost:

my timing is. not the best

mrcraabs:

why the fuck cant i have a best friend who lives 30 seconds away from me who always comes over and we just stay at each others houses whenever movies are so deceiving

claydols:

im trying to be more positive *sheds electrons and becomes highly unstable*

vvant:

let’s play a game called “are you staring at me because im hot or ugly”

aeostyle:

Fall mornings with @ktnewms in perfectly destroyed Boy Jeans.

shingekinogf:

when your crush walks by

image

image

wilderness-lair-shatterdome:

current status: not being kissed or riding a dragon this is unacceptable

  • demon: i possessed you
  • me: get the fuck out
  • demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
  • me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit